


Jugular

by canadino



Category: Hunter X Hunter
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-31
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 07:59:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4471490
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/canadino/pseuds/canadino
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Whatever gets you up in the mornings.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Jugular

The first time they have sex, Leorio is sober and Kurapika is not. They come back to the dormitories with Leorio clutching Kurapika’s side like he’ll slip out of his hands if he isn’t careful. The Zodiacs can be heavy drinkers because they just can - they’re a couple of the strongest Hunters there are, and they hold an incredible amount of power within their bodies, meaning it takes quite a lot to hold them down. Outside of the boardroom, their tolerance for each other increases, so they can go on these bar crawls like this to ease their weary minds and hearts. Leorio thinks he might be the only member currently with a fairly bland backstory; his only serious moment that has given him pause may quite possibly be the time he sees Gon comatose and charred like the ashy remains of the barbecues he remembers from his childhood. Kurapika is different - it takes him more than the couple of drinks that gives Leorio a happy, warm feeling to give him similar results. Leorio eases him carefully on his bed. “How do you feel now? Do you need to throw up or anything?”

Kurapika’s face is buried in his pillow but he shakes his head. “I’ll get you some water,” Leorio promises. The only light on in their apartment is the hanging one over their kitchen sink; darkness is a comforting as a cool bed when your head is spinning and your insides are on fire. They only share a place in the Zodiac dorms because Kurapika doesn’t have permanent housing and Leorio’s apartment isn’t big enough for two. He doesn’t want to think about Kurapika left on his own accord no matter what the boy tells the rest of the Zodiacs. The dorms are perfect because they’re quiet and secluded; most of the other Zodiacs have other housing further away from the Hunters Association headquarters because they want a life separate from work. When Leorio returns with a glass full of water, Kurapika is undressing himself on Leorio’s bed. “What are you doing? Oy, I need to sleep there; get back to your side.”

“Leorio,” Kurapika says, and his voice is barely slurring. “Come here.”   


Leorio admits he lets himself go with the flow for a while but he’s not a scumbag and he stops Kurapika mid-fellatio. “Hey,” he says, quietly so as not to alarm Kurapika, “you’re drunk. You won’t like this when you’re not.” The feel of Kurapika’s lips on his burns into his memory but he knows it probably won’t be the only thing burning in the morning, and although he doesn’t mind the rosy pink of Kurapika’s cheeks when he flushes, he doesn’t want it that bad. “We should stop.” 

“I know what I want,” says Kurapika, and he takes Leorio’s hand away from his head. So maybe Leorio is kind of a scumbag, because then he lets Kurapika do as he wants. He knows - well, he doesn’t know, but he figures - that Kurapika wants to be in control, because there have been so many things out of his control. He lets Kurapika push him down on his back and straddle him. Leorio wants to take it slow and careful, but it isn’t on the schedule. Kurapika is so many kinds of beauty, he’s got a pure heart even after he’s dipped his hands in blood and there’s cosmic sublimeness in holding yourself together even when your eyes are open to see everything. Kurapika, grinding himself against Leorio’s hips, his eyes flashing a dull red, is so, so beautiful - Leorio says so, breathlessly, and his hands ache from forcing himself not to touch Kurapika’s skin.   


Kurapika leans down, and Leorio thinks he’s about to be kissed, or at least has earned himself one of Kurapika’s embarrassed admonishments - _don’t say something like that about a man_  or _you’re so full of it_  - but instead, Kurapika bites down on his neck, right over his jugular vein. He doesn’t pierce skin and it’s a dull sort of pressure. Leorio feels his tongue up against his neck, and it must taste salty because he sure as hell is sweating like a sinner in church even if he is kind of a dead lay right now. “Why aren’t you touching me?” Kurapika asks, against his ear. 

Leorio brings his hands up, but it feels like they’ve been possessed and he has no say in what they do. Kurapika’s hips aren’t fleshy and curved like a woman; they’re bony and angular, but when he presses his fingers into skin, Kurapika hums and leans up and over so Leorio’s mouth is right under his neck. For all his medical training, Leorio can’t for the life of him remember where on earth the jugular is, but in spite of himself he sucks a dark red bruise on Kurapika’s neck and he vaguely is aware his hips are moving and Kurapika’s hands are on the headboard. When Kurapika comes, it’s warm all over Leorio’s stomach and Leorio thinks with heightening terror that he’s forgotten to put on a condom. 

When he wakes up the next morning, Leorio’s got a throbbing headache, which is a better hangover than he was expecting. Kurapika is already up and making breakfast in the kitchen and he smells sweetly of soap when Leorio passes him for the coffee. There’s no acknowledgement of any sort of change, and it seems the only proof is the dark red spot half hidden by Kurapika’s collar. 

Kanzai gets in the elevator with them when they’re in headquarters, and he looks at Leorio for a long time. “Heh,” he says, which makes Leorio turn to him. “Looks like Cheadle isn’t the only dog in the building. What kind of women do you go after for them to take a bite out of you like that?”

Leorio puts a hand over his neck. He’d forgotten about that. “Hey, you gotta tell me,” Kanzai goes on. “It’s hard to find a chick who likes it wild like that. Where do you go?”

“Please keep conversations professional,” Kurapika says. Leorio turns to him and sees the collar of his shirt has been brought up tastefully. Kanzai clicks his tongue at him but stops talking.   


[=]

Kurapika is initially against the idea of rooming with Leorio, making all sorts of transparent excuses to avoid the arrangement. Leorio doesn’t understand at first, because it isn’t like he hasn’t seen Kurapika sleeping before (not that he spent any of Hunter Examination watching) and he doesn’t remember Kurapika having any kinds of irregular habits that would be embarrassing to witness. But after they finally do sign on together, he remembers the Hunter Examination was two years ago. Kurapika has nightmares. He talks in his sleep. The first time frightens him, because Kurapika is thrashing so much the sheets are getting tangled and Leorio almost takes out his knife to cut them up before Kurapika strangles himself with them. Leorio knows enough about PTSD to know Kurapika may lash out at him for waking him, but hell, he’s strong too. Kurapika’s hands go almost immediately to his throat when his eyes open and it takes all of Leorio’s strength to hold them back until Kurapika understands where he is, safe and sound. 

Afterwards, Kurapika speaks in a flat voice and makes him promise not to force him awake next time. Leorio agrees, but not to leaving him alone once he’s awake. During the worst nightmares, Kurapika lets himself cry into Leorio’s shirt, shaking so hard Leorio needs to remind him to breathe. 

When Kurapika wakes up, seeing red and quickly wipes his face, he finds he is drenched in sweat, not the blood of his kin. He hasn’t been shot or cut or hurt, but his entire body feels taunt and sore. Leorio is hovering over him, frowning, and his glasses are crooked, like he’s just jammed them on his face in a hurry. Kurapika sits up, expects Leorio to come and slide in behind him and press a warm hand against his back, but the man doesn’t. “Are you okay?”

“Yes,” Kurapika says. His heart rate is dropping and the adrenaline is wearing off and he feels tired again, exhausted. Leorio still does not sit down next to him. “Yes, I’m alright now.” He would never ask, even on the worst days he would only curl up and ride out the aftermath until he felt safe enough to sleep again. It’s only because Leorio offers that he accepts, nothing more and nothing less. 

“That’s good,” Leorio says, and he turns around and walks back to his bed, where he lies back down and turns his back. Kurapika lies back down too, feeling restless, and although he’s afraid of what will come after he closes his eyes again, he does so.

[=]

Gon has mellowed out since losing his Nen. He doesn’t go into anything swinging. “I can’t believe two years of not having any schooling makes going back so hard,” he says. His homeschool work is spread out in front of him, with the different subjects in different notebooks. Leorio doesn’t mind acting as tutor; he’s gone through basic and advanced education in order to go to medical school, after all, and Gon’s material is simple enough that he can afford to help him after Zodiac work. “Mito definitely didn’t let me ease back into it.”

“You’re being such a good kid,” Leorio says. “Actually doing your work.”  


“What can I do? There’s only so many jobs for a Hunter with no Nen.” Gon sighs. “I need to wait patiently until it comes back, if at all. If not, I may as well become an academic, since there’s nothing left in life for me.”  


“I don’t know if I should say you’ve grown up or you’re a stranger to me.”  


“Ah, you’re so lucky, Leorio,” Gon sighs, putting his face down on the table. He’s given up for now. “Even if it gets hard for you, you still have someone next to you to help you through it. Ah, I miss Killua. Killua would kick my ass and tell me to keep working but I still want to hear him say it. I bet he’s having so much fun exploring the world with his sister.” He lets out a low but persistent groan. “I want someone to do my homework for me! I want someone to tell me it’s not that hard if I only keep going! I want someone to have fun with after I’m done working. Ah, it was hard sleeping with Killua in the same bed because he was such a kicker at night but now it’s just so boring going to sleep.”  


“Gon,” Leorio says.   


“Didn’t you have that?” Gon continues to whine, smashing his face against the table in petulant anguish. “Kurapika is as compatible to you as Killua is for me, so when you guys didn't see each other didn’t it make you feel restless? Killua’s so bad at responding to texts and he forgets sometimes and I don’t want to call because I don’t want to disrupt him and then when we do call we don’t end up saying anything and just listen to ourselves be quiet. It’s so stupid! I wish my Nen were back.” Gon looks up, his nose red from rubbing. “Leorio? You’re spacing out.”  


Leorio doesn’t say anything about the texts he’s sent into the ether. He doesn’t talk about the restless nights, because he never really worried about Gon and Killua when they were together, and the mornings spent casually looking over the newspaper headlines. He doesn’t talk about the voicemails, the terse urgent ones and the one sloppy one when he was drunk and none of the girls responded to his flirting. “It’s an adult thing,” he says finally. 

Gon frowns at him, but Leorio doesn’t have to explain himself because Gon puts his head up from the table and starts going back to his maths tables. 

[=]

Leorio lets Kurapika use the bathroom first at night, although he doesn’t really remember why anymore but it’s just a system they’ve adhered to. When he comes back into the room they share, Kurapika is sitting on his bed. He doesn’t say a word when he comes in, so Leorio takes it to mean he isn’t going to move or converse soon. Leorio pats down Kurapika’s pillow and lies down on his bed. 

“You’ve been keeping your distance from me,” Kurapika says.   


“Am I? Are you sure you aren’t imagining it?”  


“Don’t be patronizing, Leorio.” Leorio feels a dip in the bed and turns to see Kurapika perched on the side, his knee digging into Leorio’s back. “Ever since we slept together. You’ve been careful not to touch me unless you can’t avoid it.”   


“Huh? Is that so unusual? I thought you didn’t like unnecessary skinship.” Kurapika doesn’t acknowledge this response, only looks down at Leorio’s face with an unreadable expression. His hair has gotten longer, he doesn’t keep it up in the house and it falls around his face like spun gold. “What did you want me to do?”  


“Don’t try and make me say anything unbecoming. I’d much rather you tell me upfront that you’d like to forget such a thing happened. You’ve got a mouth disconnected to your brain, so I thought you’d say something about it by now. Now you’re walking around me on eggshells.” Kurapika’s eyes fall down from Leorio’s face to somewhere on the bed. “If,” he says, and his voice doesn’t waver but becomes very soft, “you’re disgusted by me, then I’d want you to tell me.”  


“I’m not disgusted by you,” Leorio says. He doesn’t know how Kurapika will take to sappiness, but he brings a hand up and brushes the strands of hair from in front of Kurapika’s eyes. It’s a move that if executed perfectly usually leads to Leorio’s target leaning into his hand. But Kurapika doesn’t do anything of the sort, so Leorio brings his hand back down to his side. “I’m a playboy but I don’t touch anyone I’m with without it being on their own terms. And I don’t mind having sex with you to help you cope - no, scratch that, I’d rather that not be the only reason.”  


Kurapika leans down, but it’s only to meet Leorio halfway. He’s almost tempted to leave Kurapika hanging, but he’s too predictable, too much of a doormat; he brings his hand up again and this time, he rubs his thumb across Kurapika’s cheek, gently under his eye. Kurapika does not deny anything. “You know - I can’t be like that. I made a vow and that’s given my entire life purpose. I can’t let anything distract me.”

“You’re being selfish.” Leorio pats Kurapika’s cheek in a way he knows is condescending. “You just want to feel what it’s like to be loved.” He begins to pull his hand away but catches the way Kurapika follows it, very subtly. “But you know what? I’m just a damn fool who pretends he doesn’t know he’s being used. You’re right that I’m a simple minded kind of guy.”  


Kurapika turns his head and kisses the middle of Leorio’s palm. “Leorio, you mean a lot of different things to me.”

He laughs. “You’re just saying that because you want to sleep with me.” 

“I want to sleep with you,” Kurapika agrees. “Shouldn’t it count for something in my favor that I’ve chosen you? If all I wanted to do was release some stress, couldn’t I have just picked up someone more attractive and less talkative than you?”   


“It’s been a while since you’ve mouthed off like that to me.” The hand on Kurapika’s cheek snakes around to the back of his neck and he guides Kurapika’s face down to his. Kurapika is no virgin, but kissing apparently is not a pastime he spends time honing, because he kisses awkwardly and keeps his eyes shut even after Leorio pulls away. “I’m tired though, and we have an early morning, but you’re more than welcome to share my bed.”   


“Is that what you said to keep that cycle of books, booze, and women?” Kurapika lets Leorio drape an arm lazily over his side. “I heard about you during the Chairman scramble. You’re still as undignified as before.”   


“I’m giving you access to my nether regions, not free range to roast me as you please.”   


Kurapika says all that, but he doesn’t leave Leorio’s side and he falls asleep so quietly Leorio almost can’t believe it. Leorio has no doubt being intimately involved will make his relationship with Kurapika more complicated; he knows Kurapika will be more the sensitive about the things he says to him and to others and he’ll be less inclined to bail out Leorio’s mishaps in front of the rest of the Zodiac to avoid indicating any preference or favoritism. He’ll deny any affection outside of the privacy of their own place and any information about the Eyes that places him in a favorable position will make him unreachable for long periods of time. Frankly, it isn’t any different than before. But it will be, in a way. Leorio waits until Kurapika’s breathing is steady and slow before leaning over and biting, softly, over his jugular. Kurapika must be more at ease than he thought because he doesn’t wake up. 

**Author's Note:**

> I have complex feelings about these two. Thanks for reading and leave a comment if you liked it!


End file.
